Stories that explore the potentials of consciousness.
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The Powerless Stone - continued
by John J. McNally

Robin fell asleep in minutes, his consciousness sank deeply into a relaxed state. He felt thick, as if he were swimming through molasses. An energetic pattern was dancing before him, his mind's eye seemed to be bringing it slowly into focus.

Robin sat at the dinner table with his father. He was ten years old, and they were sharing a pizza. This was shortly after a gang of five bullies had chased Robin home.

"Your mind is the key, son. You're smarter than they are so use that to your advantage." His father paused to lightly adjust his eyeglasses that were sliding down his nose. "When I was in seventh grade, I was cornered in the school cafeteria by one of the tough kids in my class. I told him I would meet him outside after school so we wouldn't get in trouble and he agreed. When I got back to class, I deliberately got caught talking by my math teacher so that he would give me detention. It worked like a charm! I stayed in school the extra hour, the bully gave up waiting for me, and he forgot the whole thing by the next day!"

Robin listened in stunned silence. His father had never given him advice on bullies before. He had secretly kept hoping that at some predetermined age his father would tell him it was time to learn how to fight, or at least how to use The Force. Instead, Robin now had to deal with the fact that his father was a coward.

One bully? Robin wished that he only had one bully to deal with. Then he could stand his ground even if he lost. It never seemed to be one bully though, there always came in groups.

Robin stared at the edge of his plate. The blue and white patterns on the china almost seemed to be forming a word. There was a flower that was shaped like the letter "o," the more he stared at it, the more a word seemed to be taking shape. The letters grew more clearly in Robin's mind as the scene dissolved around him. And then he found himself at the rocky outcropping again.

It had grown larger. The letters were at least a foot higher, now perfectly eye level with Robin. Glancing at the ground beneath him, Robin thought he saw the faint impression of an "H" in the sandy dirt.

Robin bent down and touched it, carefully brushing the dirt away. There was an "H" chiseled neatly into a flat stone just below the surface. In fact there was a lot more, which Robin began to read as he dusted it off. It resembled some oversized tombstone, except that the writing turned out to be instructions.

HOW TO ACTIVATE THE POWERLESS STONE

ALWAYS FLINCH AT THE FIRST SIGN OF DANGER

ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE WEAK

MAKE YOURSELF INVISIBLE TO THE WORLD

LET NOTHING OR NO ONE TOUCH YOU

SILENCE WILL PROTECT YOU

COMPRIMISE IS THE KEY TO PEACE



Robin read the words over and over, staring at the ugly carved stone before him. What the hell did this all mean?

Robin awoke suddenly. His right arm had fallen asleep and was tingling. What the hell was that dream about? The first words on the ground really stuck in his mind: "Always flinch at the first sign of danger." How the hell was that supposed to help him? Robin had spent many of his adult years in Aikido and Tai Chi Chuan classes just to overcome the fearful reflexes of his childhood.

Once he got the blood flowing in his right arm again, he decided to get up and record the dream. He kept a record of his more interesting dreams on the computer. At one time he had recorded every dream, but it had become too hectic to keep up with them all, so he reduced his recordings to just the interesting ones.

Usually he could make some sort of sense of his dreams, but this one seemed all ass backwards. Why the hell would he be telling himself to flinch? There were other instructions too, but Robin was still a bit vague on the rest of them. He just figured this was one of those confusing dreams, probably brought on by his broken leg. He finished typing it up and went back to bed.

The next morning he awoke to the sound of Della coming in the door. I really should remind Jamie to lock it, he thought. He was glad that he was wearing sweats and a T-shirt so that he wouldn't have to hide under the covers. Judging by the angle of the sun, it must be about 7 in the morning.

"Good morning. I really wanted to see you before your surgery," she said.

Robin felt warmed by her presence. It had occurred to him that he should ask her why she kept coming to visit him, but it didn't seem all that important right now.

"Thanks," he said as he sat up.

"How are you feeling?"

"My leg's not bad, but I'm a bit disturbed by this dream I had last night."
"I love looking at dreams - tell me about it!"

Robin related what he could remember of the dream, "What I can't figure out is why I found those horrible instructions on how to activate the stone."

"Were they so horrible?"

"Yes! They represented everything I've tried to overcome from my childhood, and the cowardice I learned from my father."

"You mentioned they were covered with dust."

"Yeah, I could barely see them."

"Perhaps they were forgotten?"

"I guess so."

"Then maybe you need to remember them now for some reason."

"Hmm, I'll have to think about that."

Della offered him a cup of water, which had its usual warming effect. "Then my work here is done for now." She said and gathered her belongings and left.

Robin fell back into a blissful sleep for another hour. At eight he rose from the bed and immediately began debugging the game again. He had to finish this for Stanley, although it was killing Robin to do it. The work had become stale and boring. Robin hated checking other people's code, particularly when he found their style to be sloppy. He did as much as he could for the first hour and then gave up. His head hurt and his eyes were tired, he really just wanted to lay down again.

Jamie arrived and helped Robin out to her car. The surgery was expected to be about an hour, and once the anaesthetic wore off Robin would be allowed to go home. Actually, with his HMO, they rather insisted he go home.

Once they were on the road, Jamie turned to him and said: "I would really like you to meet my Spiritual Counselor once this is all over. She might be able to help you."

"I don't know." Robin answered, "Frankly, I'm more than a bit skeptical." And what he didn't add was that he thought Jamie could be more than a bit gullible at times.

They pulled into the hospital with no further comments on the subject. Jamie stopped at the main entrance and got a volunteer to come out with a wheelchair.
"I could have used the crutches," said Robin.

"Don't be silly, how often do you get to be pushed around in a wheelchair anyway?" Jamie replied.

The volunteer was an older woman who could have been someone's grandmother. Robin doubted at first that she could push him up the sloping ramp on the sidewalk, but she was surprisingly strong for her appearance.

Jamie went on ahead and took care of all the details. Robin actually would have preferred to do this himself, but he wasn't really in a position to argue. Jamie took over pushing the wheelchair, they went up the elevator to the second floor. Robin realized that he was drawing a very strong sense of comfort having Jamie so close to him. Once the orderlies in pre-op took over he missed that feeling and the light scent of her perfume at once.

It was rather unsettling for Robin to just lie around and watch everybody do things around him. He was not used to letting go in this way, to trusting other people with his well being. Up until now, the only other time he had been in this position he was the dentist's office, but this time it seemed much more intense. At least he got to remove his own clothes and change into the hospital gown without help - that was the last little bit of independence he had to cling to.

Robin was wheeled into the operating room, which was more modern than he expected. (He probably watched too much M*A*S*H as a kid and expected something along those lines.) This facility reminded him more of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

The anesthesiologist introduced himself, and covered Robin's face with the mask. Never having been put under before, Robin wondered how long it would take, but it seemed like he was out before he could finish the thought.

The universe was insane. This was not the normal realm his consciousness went to while sleeping, this was a place designed by Escher. There were impossible structures all around him, strange twisting sculptures, some of which moved. There were people and creatures as well; the whole place was very alive.

There was a twisting yellow ribbon in front of him that resembled a road. Robin decided to follow it, taking no notice of the strange gravitational law that seemed to pull him towards this road even when upside-down. The road began to lead away from the chaos, and he found himself in the Marine Park playground, a place at which he had spent many days as a child.

Looking around, he realized that it was exactly how he remembered it, with iron monkey bars and metal swings. There was a woman sitting on one of the benches by the swings, Robin's heart leaped as he realized who it was.

"Mom!" He cried out, running full speed to his mother's arms. She stood up as he approached and caught him in a hug. Robin suddenly realized that he was not in his adult body, but somewhere in his teens. He didn't care, he held on to his mother like life itself.

"Robin, I've missed you so much! I'm so glad you came to visit me."

"Visit you? Am I dead too?"

"Of course not silly. You're only dead if you want to be."

"I'm not sure how I got here."

"I've been sending you messages for ages to come and visit me," she explained. "But most of the time you were too wrapped up in your troubles to hear me."

"Well, things haven't been exactly great for me lately. I kind of feel like a failure."

"Tell me everything." Mom said.

So Robin did, he found himself telling her every detail of every problem that had haunted him since childhood. Every humiliation, the feelings of shame for his Dad, his failed relationships with women, including Jamie, his working life, he poured out his soul while his mother sat quietly and listened.

"Robin, I'm so sorry I haven't been there for you. There's so much I want to tell you, but there are things you need to learn for yourself as well."

"Mom, why did you let Dad name me Robin?"

Rebecca Creari pulled back a bit from her son and laughed. "What made you think your father wanted to name you Robin?" she asked.

"That stupid TV show. The whole horrible "Batman and Robin" thing!"

"That's probably why your father was so agreeable to the idea, but that is NOT why I gave you the name, 'Robin'."

Sitting back down on the bench she held Robin's arms and gave him a piercing look.

"When is your birthday?"

"March 21st, the equinox, you know that."

"That's right. You were born on the first day of spring, red faced and crying louder than any other baby in the hospital. I named you Robin because robins herald the arrival of spring. Robin's are also symbolic for their creative powers, since our last name is from the Latin word for creation, I thought it was a perfect match."

"That feels very different." Robin said. He felt something deep shifting inside him. Even the silly Batman jokes didn't seem as important now. Robin felt as if a whole new aspect of his identity had emerged.

"You know, Robin, you're my son too. One of the reasons I think your father fell in love with me was because I was a very strong woman. Charles was too weak sometimes, and I tried not to dominate him, but I couldn't make him stand up for himself. That was his choice. You have my courage as your birthright. Don't be afraid to use it."

Robin felt a weird pulling sensation in his lower back. "I think it's time for me to go," he said.

"Now that you've found your way here, it will be easier to come back."

Robin held his mother one more time, there was a sound like rushing air around him, then darkness and then pain.

Robin opened his eyes only to have them blinded by the fluorescent lights above him. He was in a bed, somewhere, the hospital? He remembered his broken leg, it was set now in a bright blue canvas cast. His stomach was churning. He thought he might throw up, but luckily, nothing came.

"Hey." It was Jamie's voice, very soft and distant. "Take it easy, you just came out of surgery about an hour ago."

"I feel sick."

"The nurse said that might happen. Try not to move too much, you're still getting over the anesthesia."

"I saw my Mom."

"Cool. Do you want to tell me about it?"

"I don't remember much, but I was so happy to see her."

Jamie took Robin's hand in her own, "How does your leg feel?"

"Hurts." And with that, Robin drifted back off to sleep.

Robin found himself standing by his white horse again, studying the instructions for activating the Powerless Stone. He wondered. "Why would I want to activate you?"

He glanced at the wall - was it a little smaller than it had been? He thought about getting over it. What if… what if I became a real robin. No sooner had he thought it than he found himself fluttering around the ground. He was momentarily afraid that the horse would step on him, but the horse seemed to be taking this transformation in stride.

Robin flew up in the air, loving this feeling of newfound freedom! He knew he was dreaming. He had been lucid many times before, but not in the last year or so. The stress of his life had really put a damper on his dream life.

Robin turned towards the wall. He could easily clear it now. His sharp Robin's eyes also caught sight of something moving in the distance. Whatever it was, it was big and it was flying right toward him.

It was the pterodactyl from an earlier dream. It flew towards him with claws extended and beak snapping. Robin recoiled in fear and started plunging toward the earth below. The wall before him grew visibly as the giant dinosaur flew directly overhead.

Robin caught his descent and steered himself into the branches of a gnarled, dead tree. He moved in to a small niche where he hoped that flying beast couldn't reach him. Off in the distance, the wall made a sickening, clunking sound, as it grew even higher.

The Powerless Stone controls the wall, Robin realized. Every time he activated the Stone by performing one of the instructions, it made the wall grow even higher. But he couldn't see any way NOT to activate the stone and keep himself safe at the same time!

Robin laughed harshly at himself as he moved over and shifted to his human form. He still didn't want to tangle with that thing, but this way he wasn't an easy meal for lunch. He tried to break off a branch to use as a weapon, but the tree felt as if it were made of stone. The smallest branches only crumbled under pressure, and the larger ones couldn't be budged.

"This is a dream Robin, make it into whatever you want to." Robin watched the flying creature circling patiently overhead.

"Why are you trying to hurt me?" He yelled.

"Terror!" The beast screamed diving sharply down toward Robin. Instinctively Robin rolled to the side, and the wall grew another level higher.

"You can't hurt me!" Robin shouted, only hoping it was true.

"Fear!" Screamed the giant beast diving at Robin again. Robin was determined to stand his ground this time. The pterodactyl slammed into him, grabbing Robin with its claws, the armor prevented the claws from penetrating Robin's skin, but it used the momentum to hurl Robin onto some rocks.

"Pain!" It screamed as Robin hit the rocks, there was a sickening crack and a shooting pain through his leg as his body landed. "My leg!. He broke my leg!" Robin cried. The world began getting suddenly brighter around him and he realized that he was back in the hospital room. He half jumped up, gasping for air.

"Are you alright?" Jamie asked. "I can get the nurse for you?"

"No, please don't." he said. "I was just having a nightmare. A pterodactyl from hell broke my leg."

"Gee, I wonder what that was about?" Jamie said grinning.

"Actually I think its more than just my leg. I think it has to do with why I created this situation in the first place."

"Can't anything ever just be an accident?" Jamie was not a believer in the concept of reality creation. She favored a combination of physical existence and Gaia worship.

"Nope," grinned Robin weakly. "Everything has meaning, or nothing does. I like to think that everything does."

"So what cosmic reason was there for you breaking your leg?"

"I'm not sure completely, but it has to do with me feeling weak and powerless. I feel like I'm really processing this stuff on deeper levels."

"Well, I can't see it the way you do. Sometimes I think you just like thinking too much." Jamie leaned forward and kissed Robin's forehead. The brief glimpse down her shirt did wonders for his morale.

"Can we get out of here soon?" He asked.

"If you're up to it. I'll talk to the nurse." Jamie went outside to get the nurses attention.

One of the nursing assistants came back with Jamie. "How are you feeling?"

"My leg hurts a bit, but otherwise I feel alright."

"The doctor has to check you out first before you can be released, I'll page him and let him know you're awake."

"Thanks."

It took about twenty minutes for the doctor to come in. "Hey there, how are you feeling?" Dr Ely asked.

"Ready to go jogging." Robin answered. "Actually, it hurts like it did when I first broke it, but that's about it."

"Well, we had to insert two screws into the bone in order to properly fix the leg bone. You might feel some pain for a while, but come in immediately if there's any sort of swelling or irritation. Oh yes, and particularly if you hear ticking."

"Ticking?"

"Yeah, I lost my watch somewhere today, I'm just hoping it's not in one of my patients." Dr Ely grinned.

"Oh, that hurts worse than my leg."

Dr. Ely took Robin's temperature and checked over his cast. "Everything looks alright from here. We'll schedule an appointment for a follow up, in a few days. As soon as you feel strong enough, you can go."

"Cool."

"If you're hungry, we might have a sandwich or something for you. I'm afraid the food staff is gone by seven."

"What time is it anyway?" Robin realized that he had no clue.

"Eight-thirty," said Jamie. You slept a long time."

"You waited all that time for me?" Robin didn't know whether to feel flattered or worried.

"I wanted to be here when you woke up," Jamie said.

"If you don't need anything else, I'll see you in a few days," said Dr. Ely.

"Thanks Doc, I think I'm fine."

Once the doctor had gone, Robin turned to Jamie "I could use a snack."

Jamie went out of the room and came back with some Jello.

"You energized it didn't you?" Robin asked as he ate it.

"You could tell?"

"Yeah, it feels really good."

Jamie beamed with pride, Robin wondered if she had been energizing all his food and this was the first time he had noticed. He really did feel a lot better now.

"Maybe I could get dressed, so we can get out of here." He said.

"Sure. I hope you don't mind that I brought your boxers, I thought they would be easier to slide over the cast."

"That's fine." Robin didn't particularly like boxers, although Jamie had some strange attraction to them. He had usually worn them on nights they were together, otherwise he preferred plain white jockeys.

She was right though, the boxers were easier to slide over the cast. She had brought a loose pair of old sweat pants as well, which also slid pretty easily.

"If the bottom cuff catches, we can just snip it open with a scissors."

Once dressed, Robin was able to maneuver on his own into the wheel chair. He felt a lot more human, and was glad to be going home. Once the endless paperwork was finished, a security guard wheeled him to the front where Jamie was waiting with the car.
Once home, Jamie made Robin some herbal tea and brought him some Ritz crackers.

"I really think it would be a good idea if I stayed up in your room tonight. If something happened like the other day, you might need help."

"I think I'll be ok." said Robin. "I'll probably sleep through the night."

Before she could answer, the phone rang and Robin picked it up.

"Robin, buddy! You're home, how did the surgery go?"

"Great. I've got two screws in my ankle."

"No shit. Wow, so do you think you'll be able to come in tomorrow?"

"I don't think so Stanley, I'm pretty weak."

"Robin, buddy they're really putting the pressure on me here."

"I'm sorry, Stanley, tell them to hold off for a week or so. I'll send you my work to date so far, it's coming along pretty well."

"Shit, Robin what will it take to get you in here tomorrow? More money?"

"This is not a negotiation, Stanley, I'm hurt and I need rest."

Jamie's eyes narrowed in anger, Robin waved for her to calm down, but he could see she wasn't going to.

"Stanley, I've got to go. I just got back from the hospital and I'm really tired."

"Wait, wait, wait, alright you can't make it in tomorrow. Can you at least upload the most up to date version to the network."

"Yeah, I suppose. Give me about ten minutes and I'll have it over to you."

"Thanks Robin, you're a pal."

"Yeah." Robin hung up and smacked the phone hard against the mattress.
He started to pull himself over to the computer and Jamie came in fuming.

"You're not really going to try and work now are you? That bastard left thirteen messages on your answering machine, Robin, thirteen!"

"I'm not going to work, I'm just uploading a file."

"You should be in bed and that son of a bitch should be telling you to take it easy, not working you harder."

"He's under a lot of pressure, the stockholders want to shut us down."

"So what! Your health comes first Robin, your life comes first! You had no problem saying that to me four months ago, but this guy can walk all over you. I guess you will be alright on your own, I'll call you tomorrow."

As Jamie grabbed her jacket and headed for the door, Robin turned away from the computer screen. "Jamie wait, please."

She hesitated, holding the half-opened door in her right hand.

"Stay, please. You were right, I might need your help tonight." Robin was exhausted just from the effort of getting over to the computer.

"Okay, but I want you to rest, I'm not going to sit by and watch you hurt yourself this way."
"Fair enough." The upload was in progress, so Robin worked his way back over to the bed.

"We'll let the machine take the rest of them. I suppose you should play it to empty out the tape."

Robin sat and sipped his tea while Jamie went over to the answering machine. With the push of a button she began playing back the messages. The next few minutes were almost a surreal experience to listen to:

"Robin its Stanley pick up… Robin pick up I need to talk to you. Alright, call me when you get up."

Beep: "Robin, come on buddy where the fuck are you? I've got this auditor breathing down my neck, we've got to arrange a meeting. What time was that surgery of yours anyway?"

Beep: "You're really hanging me out to dry here Robin, I need to fucking talk to you!"

Beep: "Shit!" Click.

Beep: "Shit!" Click.

Beep: "Robin, are you theeerreeee, pick up please."

"Turn the volume down please Jamie, I get the point."

"I don't think you do, this man left thirteen messages insulting you because you inconvenienced him by breaking your leg."

Beep: "Robin if you pick up now I'll give you a ten grand bonus."

Beep: "Hey pal, it's almost 5:00, all the doctors have gone home by now."

"Do I need to remind you," said Robin. "That when we first broke up, you left almost thirty messages on my machine?"

"Yeah, but at least I was in love with you. What the hell is his excuse?"

Robin shut up, embarrassed.
When they were a couple Robin often felt she was just jealous of the amount of time Robin had to spend at work. "Maybe Stanley's in love with me too," he joked weakly.

Beep: "Robin, I'm sending over a couple of hookers to get you back on your feet!" With that one Jamie walked over and turned down the volume.

"If you don't need anything else, I'm going upstairs to lay down."

"Sure. I think I'm ok."

Robin thought that she might be crying as she went upstairs. Robin felt bad, but then he felt mad at himself for feeling bad. Don't take responsibility for her emotions, he chided himself. It's not your fault what she does.

Robin lay back on the bed and listened to the silence. He realized that she hadn't quite turned the volume down all the way on the machine. Stanley's pleas were still droning on in the background. He felt like shit, Stanley's incessant pressure was driving him nuts and Jamie hadn't helped the situation at all.

As the tape finally ran out, he realized that he really felt bad for the way he treated Jamie. Even though he didn't like her butting into his business, the truth was she was right. And what was worse was that he felt like a huge wimp letting Stanley boss him around that way. Robin wanted to go upstairs and apologize, but he knew he didn't have the strength. He supposed it would be best if he waited until tomorrow morning.

Sleep came slowly, Robin kept listening for some sign from upstairs that Jamie was still awake. Finally, he drifted off into a slow fretful sleep. It came as no surprise to him now that he entered his dream at exactly the moment he had left off.

Robin was lying on a pile of rocks, his leg was broken just below the knee, bent like an upside down letter "L." He could barely move. How could he be in so much pain if this was only a dream?

He needed help. Since the horse was the only one around who might be able to help he whistled for him to come over. The horse trotted up gently, coming to a stop next to the rocks where Robin lay. Robin noticed for the first time that there was a canteen attached to the saddle. Summoning his strength he dragged himself up until he could pull it from the horse. His body screamed with every movement, he ached in ways that he had never believed possible. Above him, the pterodactyl circled in huge swoops, thoroughly enjoying Robin's pain.

As Robin drank the water, a surge of warmth rushed through his body. This was like the water Della had given him! He looked down and saw his leg completely healed. In fact, his whole body had never felt better. He leapt on the horse and rode quickly to the shelter of the petrified tree. He watched the wall increase in height yet again as he did.

"What the hell am I supposed to do here?" Robin was fuming. The pterodactyl was too strong for him to fight, the wall was too high for him to climb. There was no way he could win this situation. The flying beast strafed the top of the tree, screeching as it passed over.

The screech caused Robin to flinch, once again making the wall rise even higher. It was getting hard to see the top from his vantage point now. The wall must be close to one thousand feet high now! Robin sat down on the ground in despair. "What the hell am I supposed to do?"

As if in response, his horse strode out from under the tree and stood in the open desolate field. He planted his hoofs firmly in the ground and neighed loudly at the sky.

"That's easy for you to do, the pterodactyl doesn't attack you." said Robin.

The horse stamped its front right foot twice, and neighed at the sky again.

The pterodactyl swooped down between Robin and the horse, Robin swore he could see blood on its talons.

Robin watched the pterodactyl's obvious teasing as a surge of anger build up inside him. His entire life it had seemed like there was always someone ridiculing him. A wellspring of rage erupted, bringing tons of molten lava raging across Robin's entire inner landscape. Robin saw his school destroyed, the lava smashed through it like cardboard, burning and melting everything into slag. He saw the park of his childhood, the houses, the whole neighborhood enveloped in wave after wave of rage and volcanic destruction.

Around him the Powerless Stone grew bright with color. Molten rock began pouring from its top as well. The pterodactyl above divided into two equal birds, the skies rolled with hideous thunder as unbridled rage surged through Robin's being.

Robin had always assumed that rage would bring power. That if he just got angry enough, he could stand up to anyone and everyone that ever abused him. Now, as his eyes took in the destruction, he knew his rage only made everything else stronger around him. He vomited hot lava from his body, shivering and weak inside, the rage was only making him feel worse.

Through it all the horse stood his ground. He never flinched, he didn't try to run from the rivers of lava coming from the Powerless Stone. He calmly stood as the lava flowed around him and destroyed the small skeletons of former plant life on the ground around him.

As Robin watched the horse, he knew that the horse was beckoning him to do the same, to stand up, to be brave in the face of danger, to draw strength, not from rage but from… where?

There was a song lyric Robin remembered, from a song he always loved, but had almost forgotten about. Just look inside and find that spark that's burning in you, follow it through and it can change your life*

Robin remembered, he remembered the song and he remembered where his power really came from. Power came from the self, from his own inner source, not from anger or rage, not from anywhere else. Picking himself up from the ground he stepped out from the tree and looked at the turbulent sky above:

I've got my dreams*
I know you think that's crazy
But I won't give up
Cause I've got this burning desire in me
Oh baby its meee!


The two pterodactyls dived straight for him, screeching loud enough to make the ground tremble. Robin stood his ground firmly and kept singing.

While the world sleeps
I sit up all night thinking
And making my plans
Cause there's something special ahead for me!
Something ahead for me!


The beasts swerved away at the last second, passing over Robin harmlessly. Robin rose into the air and continued singing as he flew toward the top of the great wall.

So don't you tell me that I'm wasting my time, ruining my life
Or that the odds against me are a million to one, don't be concerned
I'll take the heat for all the chances I'm gonna take, mistakes that I'll make
Just wait and see, your gonna hear from me!


Robin cleared the top of the wall with ease. The two pterodactyls kept circling and snapping near him, but they were unable to touch him. Below him, his previously lost sword lay in an open stone coffin. He continued his song as he landed upon the ground, walking to its resting-place.

So don't wait for heroes,
Do it yourself, you've got the power
Winners are losers, who got up and gave it just one more try
One more tryy, One more tryy.


The pterodactyls landed on the edge of the coffin, trying to block Robin's way. Robin refused to be phased by them. He reached directly between them and lifted the sword. It was heavy at first, but the grip was comfortable and Robin thrilled to the sense of real power that surged through him as he lifted it. The two pterodactyls squawked and took off for the sky.

If you're waiting for that miracle train to call out your name
And if you think the rainbow always finds someone else, never yourself
Just look inside and find that spark that's burning in you, follow it through
The light you find, well it could change your life


Robin took to the air again, with his sword out in front of him he flew straight at the wall punching through it, feeling a surge of joy as it shattered before him. Bits of stone rained down everywhere, and the once impassible monolith now stood with a twenty-foot gaping hole in its center. Robin landed in front of the Powerless Stone, which had gone remarkably quiet and dark.

So don't wait for heroes
Think for yourself, make your own choices
You know it's easy to follow the crowd, but my advice is
Don't wait for heroes believe in yourself, you've got the power
Winners are losers who got up and gave it just one more try


Robin swung the sword around in a high arc, driving it deeply between the R and the L, sparks flew where he struck and the great rock cracked. The whole right side fell away, leaving only the word POWER visible. The letters began to glow on their own, and the rest of the rock began crack and fall away.

Underneath, a great crystal was revealed, it shined with a radiance that began restoring life to the land around it. The skies cleared and the sun came out, trees and plants covered the land with an amazing speed. The wall, with its gaping hole where Robin had punched through, simply faded away. It wavered for a moment like a highway reflection and then just vanished as if it never was.

Robin's horse trotted over and nuzzled him. He smiled at it fondly. "I hope I'll see you again my friend." He watched the world grow and develop around him, even as it began to fade as he woke up.

Robin blinked - the sun was just creeping over the horizon. He felt so good that he almost forgot his leg was still broken. He slid over to the computer and began typing what he remembered of the dream. When he finished he realized that Jamie was watching him from the stairs.

"Please tell me you're not working on that program."

"I'm not, really," he said. "I just had the most incredible dream."

"Oh, that's good, I'm going to go back to bed."

"Jamie wait, look I just wanted to apologize for last night. You were completely right in what you said, I just didn't want to hear it."

"Oh," she paused "okay." She went up the stairs again to get more sleep and Robin worked his way back over to the bed.

Robin laid down feeling a sense of peace and contentment for the first time in his life. He knew now that he could make the choices that were right for him. He could do these easily, without fear and without anger. He realized too that he still loved Jamie. In the past he had not been strong in setting his own boundaries, and Jamie was a very strong person. He reviewed so many areas of his life where he had never known a sense of power before, and wanted to laugh at the predicaments he had created for himself. He dozed finally, patiently waiting for the inevitable phone call from Stan.

It came at 7:30. Robin picked up the line cheerfully.

"Hello."

"Yeah, Robin I don't know what you did last night, but the game is still screwing up. I really need you to make an appearance here today so we can keep things rolling."

"Sorry Stanley, but I quit. Frankly, this job sucks."

"WHAT! Are you fucking crazy?! You can't quit now! We're so close to making this work. If this is about money Robin, believe me I'm paying you as much as I can right now. As soon as the dough starts rolling in buddy, I promise you're at the front of the line."

"Sorry Stanley, I'm not interested." Robin disconnected the phone and turned it off. The machine could take the next ninety calls.

Jamie came down the stairs rumpled and sleepy. "I guess you're going into work today?"

"Nope," said Robin. "I just quit." No sooner did he finish speaking than the phone in the other room began to ring.

"Let the machine get it, it's just Stan begging."

"Wow! I must say I'm impressed. What brought this on?" She sat on the edge of the bed, wearing one of Robin's T-shirts. There was something about that look that always drove Robin crazy.

"I released a lot of old baggage last night." He said, as he straightened himself up to face her. "I realized a lot of things about myself, about my own sense of power last night that I never knew before."

"You know, you were singing in your sleep." Jamie grinned.

"Really? I remembered singing in the dream as well, it was how I reclaimed my power."

"You've got to tell me about this dream."

"I will, but I wanted to talk to you first, about us."

A dark cloud passed briefly over her face, and Jamie turned away from him. "I swear to you Robin, I'm not trying to trick you into getting back together or anything. I really do want to help you with your leg, I still care about you a lot."

"That's not what I was going to say." Robin said. "I care a lot about you too. In fact, I still love you very much. I know that I've changed now, and I see signs that you've been changing too. I was wondering if…"

"Yes!" She said, leaning over and kissing him. "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

"I have been changing too." Jamie said taking a more serious tone. "After our break up I had a lot of sessions with Della."

"Della?"

"That's my spiritual counselor. Anyway, she helped me realize a lot of stuff that I was doing. She told me I was unconsciously copying my mother, treating you more like a child than a partner."

"So, you were the one who sent Della in to see me?"

"What? No way, Robin I swear to you I never did that!"

"Well someone did, she's been visiting me since I broke my leg. She first came to me in the hospital."

"I don't think so. She's not allowed in the hospital anymore. They said she was too "disruptive" because she was visiting all the patients."

"She was here too. She kept giving me water to drink, energized like the Jello last night, only more so."

"She does do that. She offers energized drinks to anyone who comes in. It's part of the service she offers."

"We've got to go over there later, I need to figure this out." said Robin.

"Better yet, I'll ask her to drop by. I have her home number." said Jamie.

She turned on the phone and immediately heard Stan's voice. "Sorry, nobody's home," she said and hung up on him.

"It's not too early to call her, is it?" But Jamie had already dialed the number.

"Hi Della, its Jamie… I'm sorry to call you so early, but remember my boyfriend Robin we talked about? He broke his leg a few days ago and says you came by to visit him."

Jamie held the phone away from her mouth, "She says that she gets that kind of thing all the time."

"Uh, huh, okay here. She wants to talk to you."

Robin picked up the receiver and put it to his ear. "Hello?"

"I hear we're old friends."

Robin recognized her voice immediately. "Yes. Didn't you visit me at the hospital, and two times over here at the house."

"Not physically dear. I'm not allowed to set foot in the hospital unless a blood relative is there. It seemed the doctors didn't like my competition. Tell me, was there anyone else in the room when I came in?"

"No, now that you mention it. Still I could have sworn…"

"I have a question for you as well," Della said. "Did you have a dream about volcanoes last night?"

"Um, perhaps we should meet later and discuss this all in person." Robin said.

"I'm looking forward to it."

Robin gave her his address, and hung up the phone.

"Life just keeps getting weirder and weirder."

"See, I told you that you should go see her, I kept telling you, but do you listen to me, nooo, you have to be Mr. Stubborn and-"

Robin interrupted her by pulling her in for a kiss. "That oughta shut you up." he said, imitating Nelson from the Simpsons.

"That's not going to win you every argument you know."

"It's a good way to finish them though."


*"Don't Wait For Heroes" lyrics by Dennis DeYoung © 1984 Grand Illusion Songs. The song can be found on the Album Desert Moon by Dennis DeYoung, A&M Records

* * *

This story is presented in two parts - Click here for section one, the first part of this story.

© 2002, John J. McNally. All Rights Reserved. Do not copy or distribute without the author's permission.
About the Author: John J. McNally enjoys writing from the perspective that everything is possible, and very likely to happen. Parabolic Mirror is his metaphysical weblog and Telepathic Frog is his t-shirt shop. He runs the Mind Altering Fiction website and is co-owner of the Conscious Creation website and the Food Follies weblog and recipe site with his partner Kristen. Click here to contact John.

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